Freedom to worship

How important is worship, and prayer to you? Do you ever take that freedom for granted? I did, until it was gone.  I loved God, it's true. Yet I had no appreciation for the freedom to worship. That is, until the day that domestic violence began to encompass my faith. If he caught me praying, I'd have to pay dearly. I'd hide in the closet to pray. He saw me worship one day and from that day on I couldn't sing without fear of what he would do to me. Although I've blocked out many of the terrifying things I lived through, I'll never forget the punishment for loving God, the abuse I experienced because I shared Jesus with a neighbor, and the violence I experienced for believing , for a moment that God might love me. Those awful memories stand as a firm reminder of the gift we have when we can freely worship. I look back at the moment when I realized I'd have to choose between loving God and protecting myself from domestic violence. It wasn't until the freedom was gone that I truly knew the gift we've been given. For those who know my story, you'll glory in the fact that God saved me miraculously. But the story doesn't end there. I may no longer be in a relationship with a violent abuser, but throughout my journey to wholeness I've had to make tough choices. One of them being, will I trust God with the broken pieces of my heart, and will I worship him in spirit and truth? 

Your story is different than mine but the truth is we all have brokenness and in our brokenness, it's very easy to resent God for the sins of man which resulted in suffering. I certainly did! Yet, God in His grace didn't give up on me. It wasn't enough to merely rescue me physically. God intended to heal me, restoring the parts of my heart that no one could see. 💔

I'm not saying the work is done, heaven knows I have a long was to go. But I will tell you this, I will never again take for granted the beautiful gift we each have to commune with God, to worship with all our hearts and to pray without fear for our lives. So when you see me praising God and you notice the how alive I suddenly become, (beaming with joy), may that be a testimony of God's grace to heal my shattered heart after many years of abuse. He is a good and loving God who desires to not only save us but heal our shattered hearts because it is only then that we can truly know the fullness of God's heart for us. His desire for us to worship is a desire for us to really know him, sense his presence and be transformed by it. Worship is a gift I will forever hold dear, for in it is a wellspring of living waters that heal, and restore our innermost being through a thriving relationship with Jesus Christ.