Overwhelmed

There is a phrase that is tossed about that says "God will never give you more than you can handle." It is twisting of another verse that talks about not being tempted beyond what we can resist.

The truth is life is often more than we can handle. My own human state of imperfection before God is more than I can handle. That is why I need Jesus. I simply can't measure up. But what about when the hardships of life are more than we can handle. If you know me very well you know that I don't sugar coat these subjects. I am not afraid to admit that by the time I was seven years old I was a suicidal child because my life as a battered and abused child was more than I could bear. It was more than any little girl should have to bear. So the question remains, what do we do when life is more than we can bear. As a small child, when the assault on my body, mind, and soul became more than I could cope with I would cry out to God on my bed and run into his arms. I knew this world was not a safe place. Sin was rampant and I was its victim. But I also learned at a young age that despite the choices others made God didn't abandon me. He was there weeping alongside me. I used to wonder why God didn't stop bad people from doing bad things. But I have since learned that God does not abuse power as man does. In order to stop all the bad, he'd have to make us into brain-dead robots controlled by his command. He gave us free will and we can use it for good or harm. So when other's choices cost us deeply, causes us to lose our hope, lose sight of a future, lose sight of joy, then what? In all my years I have only found one solution. That solution is to surrender all my expectations of how things should go and fully fall into the loving arms of my God. That is where I am today. The situation before me is overwhelming and disheartening at best. I have lost so much and In my limited vision I cannot see hope on the horizon just yet but I am trusting. I am leaning, I am surrendering my way, my solution, my idea of justice and falling deep into the loving arms of the ONE who has never failed me. the one who has never abused me, the one who will eternally love me. I choose to trust God with the impossible.