Little Ewe- My story of healing in parable form

 There once was a shepherd with many, many sheep.  He loved each one so tenderly 
and knew their deepest thoughts.  There was one little lamb in his flock named Little Ewe. 
She was a gentle little lamb who loved the shepherd.  But Ewe was born to a mother sheep that had a deep wound which had never healed.   

The wound was so painful and searing that mother never let her lamb come close. Each time little Ewe tried to curl up close to mother, the mother would flinch in pain and angrily push little Ewe away.  Little Ewe couldn’t understand. She only wanted to love her mother, but instead of love she felt the intense stabbing pain of rejection.  Her heart cried out silently to mother lamb. “Won’t you just love me?”  But then she'd turn her eyes towards mother and see the angry tears that stung her mother's eyes.

Day after day, the loving shepherd watched little Ewe with immense sadness in his heart. 

He would call out to little Ewe, "You are mine, little Ewe, you are mine, I love you always, 
you are mine" 

 But little Ewe turned away and the shepherd's voice seemed to disappear into the meadow as if the words were never spoken. Little Ewe's heart began to long for a mother's love.  She would watch all the other mother sheep with their tender little lambs and secretly wish she could have
the same love of a mother. With each passing day, Little Ewe's heart grew heavier and heavier. 

Then one day Little Ewe met a large group of sheep. They spoke gently to her and encouraged her to trust them. They seemed to really care about her. It wasn’t long before she followed them everywhere they went.  But as time passed, she realized these sheep were not at all good. They often said cruel things to her and hurt her badly. One such morning the sheep began biting at her knees and kicking her from behind while jeering wildly. They were having great fun, at her expense.

The sheep pressed little Ewe towards the edge of the pasture near a jagged deep ravine. They continued to kick and bite little ewe until she stumbled backward. All at once she found herself falling. Jagged rocks jutted out from the sides of the ravine cutting into her flesh. Down, down she tumbled until she collapsed into some thick dark mud at the bottom. She lay there a long while, tears streaming down her face. She could still hear the cruel taunts of the sheep above her. Eventually, she managed to stand on her weary legs.  Frail and exhausted she limped 
over to a nearby creek at the edge of a lonely meadow.  She tried desperately to wash off the blood and caked on mud, but the mud had saturated deep into her thick wooly coat so all her efforts were in vain. 

The cruel sheep looked down at her again and laughed. They mercilessly taunted her for being so filthy. "It is your fault they jeered.  You are filth, and it’s your fault."  Little Ewe hung her head in shame. “I am filthy" she whispered to herself "its all my fault, I am filthy and nothing can make me clean." 

Little Ewe stumbled away, dejected and forlorn. The cuts on her legs and back stung as blood trickled out of the caked wounds.  Little Ewe found a soft grassy patch and then curled up tight into a mound that resembled a rock. She buried her face deep into the meadow grass and wept.  The Gentle shepherd saw his little lamb. He walked up to her and reached his arm out to gently stroke away her tears.  But little lamb pulled away.  Her heart cried out " Don’t hurt me, I am afraid"  The shepherd tried to lift up little lamb, but she wouldn’t let him carry her.

"Little Lamb, you are mine" Whispered the shepherd.  "I won't hurt you, I love you." His words were tender and sincere, but little lamb cowered away.  She kept her wounded legs pulled in tight under her so the shepherd couldn't touch the wounds. "Alright little lamb" said the shepherd, " I'll wait, and when it’s time, I will carry you, and tend your wounds."

Day after day little Ewe sat curled up tight.  She would cry to herself " Does nobody love me, does nobody care.?... I am alone and no one is there." Then gentle shepherd would hear her cry and call back, " I am here little Ewe, I love you always. I won’t leave you alone, I am waiting, little lamb. Let me carry you safely in my arms. Let me tend to your wounds" 

Little lamb listened to the shepherd's words, as they were sung sweetly over the meadow grasses. But then she would look at herself and say.  " I am no one's little lamb. I am too dirty. If you pick me up, the mud on my coat will go onto you. The blood on my skin is so ugly.  I am filthy. I am nothing; No one 
could really want me.  My mother didn’t want me, so neither could you.  Don’t carry me.... I'll bring shame to you! I am unworthy of the shepherd's love. ”The words of shame and pain rang through little Ewe's mind over and over, drowning out the shepherd's voice.

The shepherd's heart sank with grief. He loved his little lamb so very much and longed to hold her and tenderly tend to her wounds.  He watched as little lamb cried in vain.  She would sometimes try to stand up in the grass and look to see if anyone was near.  But the wounds on her legs were becoming filled 
with infection, making them weak and sickly.  She would collapse in agony, and hide once more in the long meadow grass.

Days passed by, and little Ewe grew bigger. But no matter how big she got, she’d whisper her words of shame again and again. Saying, "if a mother can’t love me, then nobody can. I am nothing, I am filthy, and I am unworthy of love" 

The shepherd listened to the sad song of her heart and decided that it was time to try something new. He called out to a warm wooly sheep in his pasture named Blessed.  Blessed was a gentle mother sheep.  She had two little lambs of her own that had grown into fine young rams. Blessed was a special sheep. She listened carefully each day to the shepherd’s voice and followed him wherever he led.  The loving shepherd led blessed deep into the lower pasture to the spot where little ewe lay curled up. 

Blessed looked tenderly down at little Ewe. Memories flooded Blessed’s mind of days gone by when she too had once lay hurting in the pasture. She remembered how afraid she had been and, how deep the wounds were that kept her from roaming freely through the meadow.  Just then the loving shepherd nudged her forward and said: "take my little Ewe, and let her know that I love her." Blessed sat down gingerly beside little Ewe.  "You are a precious lamb little Ewe. The shepherd loves you."

"How can that be?" wept little Ewe. “I am so filthy, if my mother can't love me, then nobody can, I am nothing I am unworthy of love." 

Blessed sighed a deep sigh, knowing all too well, that words were not enough.  "I'll be a mother lamb to you" she softly replied." I'll show you that you can be loved, I'll show you how much the gentle shepherd loves you. He has loved me, and I will love you"  she whispered placing a kiss on her tear stained cheek.

Day after day, Blessed sat with little Ewe. She would softly whisper in her ear. “You are loved little lamb”. Little ewe would cry and argue in her thoughts.“How could this be possible? If my own mother can’t love me, how can anyone else”?”

Little Ewe was becoming weaker by the day, as infection began to seep through her whole body.  Soon she was too weak to stand at all. Meanwhile, Blessed kept on telling little Ewe, that she was loved by the gentle shepherd.  Slowly those tender words began penetrating into her heart. One day, Little Ewe
 lay on the grass, frail and too weak to move. Her warm breath was shallow, and she felt as if she couldn’t go on any longer. 

“I am no-one, I am nothing, she softly cried, it would be better if I were never born” 

The gentle Shepherd heard her mournful cry and went to her once more.  “Little lamb”, he said softly “you have been badly hurt, and those wounds are making you sick, but I love you, and I have a plan for you. I want to carry you to safety and mend your wounds.” 

“ I am too broken”, sobbed little ewe, “no one can mend my wounds” she wept bitterly.

The gentle shepherd slowly reached down to pick little Ewe up. She flinched in pain and tried to resist him, but she was too frail. He tenderly pulled her in close to his chest. She could hear his heart beat softly close to hers. His strong warm arms embraced her affectionately as he carried her to safety.  
Blessed followed faithfully along behind, still assuring little Ewe “ He loves, you little Ewe, it's ok, He loves you”

The gentle shepherd carried her into an old wooden barn at the edge of the pasture.  Soft candlelight flickered from the lantern in the corner.  He carefully placed her onto a soft bed of fresh straw.  He took off his coat and placed it under her head.  He carefully washed away the blood and mud that was 
enmeshed deep into her wounds. 

Soft tears rolled swiftly down her cheeks as she looked into the shepherd's eyes.  “You do love me”, she thought.  She could hear the soft coo of doves in the rafters below, as she drifted off to sleep. 

The shepherd worked on through the night, washing and tending to little ewe’s wounds. Little Ewe, 
slept heavily, with fever racing through her frail frame.  Hour after hour, the gentle shepherd continued to tend to her. He wrapped her fragile legs in soft white linen and dabbed her hot forehead with a cool 
cloth, all the while singing over her “ you are my little ewe, whom I have always loved. When you are hurting, my heart breaks too.  If only you will come to me, and let me love you, I can heal your wounds and make you brand new.”  The words seemed to dance along the rafters and swirl about in their 
beautiful melody. 

Slowly, Little Ewe began to hear the shepherd words. “You are mine, you are mine”, he sang. Her eyes slowly opened and looked deeply into the gentle shepherd’s eyes.

“I am yours,” she softly whispered back.

At that moment, the lies that had gripped her heart for so long began to wash away, the shepherd would whisper words of truth into her heart, “yes you have been rejected but you are loveable.” “I can wash away even the most awful stain, to make you beautiful” And he did…. Day after daythe shepherd continued to tend to his little lamb, lovingly singing over her until she was strong 
enough to stand once more. 

Then one day the shepherd carried her out into the fresh air.  He laid her on a soft tuft of grass and gently stroked her soft white coat.  You are free little lamb, free to live. She gingerly took a few steps to a nearby pool of water.  She gazed down at her reflection.  She saw a beautiful lamb who
 was nearly full grown. Her tender wounds had healed and her wool was a vibrant pure white against her soft pink nose.

Blessed walked up behind her and nudged her gently, “You were beautiful underneath all the mud,” she said, “you were loveable underneath your wounds, and now you are whole again.”

A warm tear swept swiftly down Blessed's face, as she looked a this precious lamb she’d loved.  “You can always trust the gentle shepherd…. “she insisted tenderly. He will always be there for you.

Blessed stepped back as little Ewe leaped up into the gentle shepherd's arms. “Oh thank you” she wept… “thank you,”  “You were always there,” she cried “ I’ll love you forever” she whispered as she nuzzled in closely to his chest.

“Forever it is, my little lamb… forever it is………”